my first party was 2002. i was 17. i went alone because the girl who was gonna take me bailed. i stood by a speaker for three hours with my arms crossed, didn't talk to one person, didn't drink any water, and drove home at 4am shaking, and i thought: that's it, that's the thing everyone's obsessed with? then someone gave me a bracelet and it changed my whole life. that's not an exaggeration and i don't care how it s…